'Michael’s Reflective Paper Essay\r'

'* Who am I? What intent friendships made me who I am instantly? Was it my family, my social milieu where I went to school, the groups, or organizations that I belonged to, or was it definite look events that shaped me? * This composition is my attempt to verbalize that my family and social milieu, my intent experiences from childhood to premise influenced me to be the person that I am today and who I will be in the future.\r\nAs I theorise upon my emotional state, at the age of forty-nine, I give birth come to the conclusion that my family and social environment when growing up, surviving crab louse in my twenties, and realiseting married in my mid-thirties are the main social influences and flavour events that occupy shaped who I am today and who I urgency to give pop out in the future. Every one of these experiences has accustomed me something: learning to be self- load-bearing(a) from family political machineriages; dealing with the state of uncertainty , which comes with the ailment; responsibility of union; and the importance to find the field of expertness for hard-hitting elaborate.\r\nAll these insights can be described as building effective affinitys with commonwealth and developing self-under stand up on unlike levels. * To understand my family life, and why I nip that their negative attitudes to me shaped me to be a better person, I first have to give you some adventureground on my family and me. The background of my family clarifies how important for me was to be independent from this alienating environment. My m otherwise died when I was s simple machinece a year old and my fetch raised my fourth-year brother Kevin and me by himself until he met my stepmother.\r\nMy get remarried and had my two stepbrothers William and Robert. My fuck off was a strict disciplinarian, racist, drank a lot, and employmented as a machinist at a refinery plant. My stepmother was a theatremaker as my begin did not approve of he r conk outing and matte up that she needed to be at home taking care of the children. My stepmother came from an orphanage, had polio in her left hand. She was in like manner an alcoholic, meaning that she was cheating(a) when drunk; in addition, she was a mountain range smoker.\r\nKevin was the oldest son one and a one-half days older than me (and my father’s favorite one), I was the middle child, William was tailfin years younger than me and was diagnosed at an other(a) age as having severe fear deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD); Robert was the youngest. Witt and Mossler (2010) quote the longitudinal research fill which has shown that the attitudes of parents towards children kind of than the practices of raising children shape our reputation in adulthood (Ch. 1, p. 11). It is bare that lack of my father’s heed has influenced me a lot, impact me to attract my parents’ attention, for better or for worse.\r\nThe authors also stress on the impor tance of the environment of growing up, some(prenominal) social and fleshly (Witt & Mossler, 2010, Ch. 1, p. 13). We lived in a relatively low middle class dust coat community in Beaumont, Texas next access to my father’s brother and his family. The theater where we lived in was close to the outskirts of Beaumont and was nestled back in the woods, so the woods were our playground. This could get to the feeling of abandonment, nevertheless it was also empowering somehow, as I learned by these band to rely on myself.\r\nPalkovitz, Marks, Appleby, and Holmes (2002) treat the relationship between parents and children as a Byzantine unit consisting of father factors, co paternal factors, mother factors, child factors, and contextual factors (p. 8). It is evident that in my family, there was disintegration in a sense impression on completely levels. It was interesting to discover that, according to the study by Palkovitz, Marks, Appleby, and Holmes (2002), my father ’s attitude was shaped by his experience in romantic relationships and then projected upon children (p. 8). I had to develop independence from this painful stirred up context.\r\nMy relationship with my father caused me to be non-racist, disciplined, and extroverted, as my father was a strict disciplinarian, run acrossling, and racist man. He gave all his attention to my older brother and ignored me unless I did something that maddened him. His treatment of me caused me to crave his attention and to research to please him until I reached my teenage years and decided that I did not want to be like my father. I rebelled against his keep back upon me. He tried to control what I did after school, how I wore my hair, how I thought, and what I wanted to be when I gradational high school.\r\nI was deeply scared of him when I was a child, and only when I became a young adult did I see that what he was doing to me was wrong. I started standing up for myself. I started seeking at tention outside my family and I got a subscriber line after school so that I started earning my own money. That allowed me to purchase my own clothes, get my haircut how I wanted, and purchase my first car that gave me the freedom to escape from my dysfunctional family on a daily basis. My first car and earning my own money gave me the ability to outdistance myself from my family.\r\nHowever, later circumstances of my life taught me that people can also be supporting and self-reliance is not enough. When I was in my early twenties working and sacking to college, I developed Hodgkin’s sickness that has also changed my personality. Hodgkin’s is a mark of cancer that affects the lymphatic system. Like other forms of cancer, it is believed to cause the feelings of uncertainty, lack of control, anxiety, isolation, discomfort, and †last but not least †re-definition of goals and roles (Halldorsdottir & Hamrin, 1996, p. 34).\r\nOn one hand, one feels that h e has to re-define his situation in the society; on another(prenominal)(prenominal) hand, people care about those with the disease more and support more (at least they are supposed to do so). I experienced how it was not to have the control upon my life, but also how it was to be cared for by others. Anyway, when one is ill and so plain dependent upon the society, the natural question comes: â€Å"Did I do anything wrong? And what was it? ” Often cancer is associated with suppressed anger and a passion to please other (or at least attract attention) (Broderick, 1996, p. 14), and this really could be my case.\r\nI must admit that this judgement came on with serious heart problems. Still, illness did not prevent me from shouldering responsibility in work and family life, as well as from the joys of both. I met my wife during my thirties when I was changing my careers from being a technician to a gross salesperson. Interestingly, psychologists directly view professional development of an case-by-case as an ongoing process (not check to certain age group), the first format of which is exploration (Smart & Peterson, 1997, p. 59).\r\nSo, I was move in a kind of â€Å" twin exploration”, searching for new ship canal in professional life as well as personal, consciously or not. In addition, like a career, hymeneals is a serious responsibility that implies both joyful outcomes and stress together with work on oneself. This personal responsibility has changed me a lot, teaching how to meet the needs of another person with whom I have been liveness day by day for a long time. I find the recommendations prone by Witt and Mossler (2010, Ch. 3, p. 37) helpful, though challenging sometimes.\r\n volume are happy in sum when they support each other materially and emotionally, not forgetting to be positive, share feelings, convey each other, express affection, and do certain tasks together. In prolonged perspective, my family life and work ta ught me how to be productive and understanding in relationships with people and how to maintain stability in the changing world around and in the situations when inner conflicts arise. That is why in my future, I want to pass on the familiarity that my occupation as a sales manager has given to me.\r\nPerhaps I will start organizing some readiness sessions. This may also help to increase my competence in the field of sales and on the level of personal communication, as people may share their semiprecious experience with me on the trainings. As I reflect upon my life now, from quite a distance, I have concluded that several(prenominal) events were the strongest in making me the person I am at present. They were my family and social environment in childhood, surviving cancer in my twenties, and getting married in my thirties.\r\nMy family life stimulated me to earn living independently, cancer survival was essential in understanding my own potential and the ability to help of the people around, and marriage has given me the feel of responsibility. The dark years and events turn out to be ambivalent in the sense that they have given me certain experience and understanding of myself. Those main social influences and life events that I described in this paper have shaped my present personality and my thoughts about the future.\r\n'